Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
