I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
