i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
