Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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