I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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