The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
