Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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