I don't think brook has ever known best
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
