He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize