if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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