Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
