sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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