We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
how does that bad decision feel?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
