Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
