It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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