The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
