hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize