We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
