have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
