alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
