You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Randomize
