I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
last night I used snow as a chaser
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
