I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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