I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
