Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
are you so shy because you have an std?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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