Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
