At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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