Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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