I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
