this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
