I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize