It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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