Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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