am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Enjoy the penises
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
