He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
