You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He had one of those small greek statue penises
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
