I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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