Pants 0. Shit 1.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
