I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
