When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
