idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
