if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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