I have demons in me.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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