There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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