honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
