? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
