So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just gift wrapped bread.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
