Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
