Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
