Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
