I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Randomize
