sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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