So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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