I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
