A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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