I just saw a hot homeless man
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
