just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
