I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
