Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I believe in your delicious
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
