I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
