we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I understand Curling. That high.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
