If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
