Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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