i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
