i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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