I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
