Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
